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Friday Facebook Live: you attract what you are

Hi there!  It’s your girl Esha here.  Welcome to Carnivalista Lifestyle.  It’s our blog where we help busy, professional women discover new cultures, attract what they want, love themselves and be comfortable in their own skin.  During the pandemic, I’ve been doing a Friday Facebook Live every week and today’s live topic was you attract what you are.

Now, this topic might strike a nerve for you.  Honestly, it struck a nerve for me when I first heard it back in my 20’s!  However, watch the video.  I promise you’ll feel better once you understand the true meaning of the words.  You’ll also understand how you can use them to your advantage as you journey along in your life.

Check it out below!


To review, here are the steps to attract what you want:
  • Step 1: take a hard look at yourself
    • To break out of the “you attract what you are” rut, you have to start with you!
    • This not to place blame or shame on yourself.  This process is not about that.  It’s about taking an honest look at your role in these relationships.
    • Here are some questions to ask yourself:
      • What bad behaviour did I allow in this relationship?
      • Was I truly being myself whenever I interacted with this person?
      • Have I always been truthful about how I really felt whenever this person acted poorly?
    • Again, the goal is not to place blame.  And it goes without saying, the process will not work if you’re not being honest with yourself!
  • Step 2: Forgive yourself for allowing people you don’t want into your life
    • Now that you’ve ackowledged your role in the relationship, forgive yourself for whatever you need to forgive yourself for.
    • Being hard on yourself will just make you feel worse and that will not help the situation!  What you did, happened in the past.  Be gentle.
  • Step 3: Send back anyone who has negative energy and who drains you
    • I’m now a firm believer that just because someone shows up in your life, doesn’t mean you have to let them in!  This piece of wisdom helps, especially in the beginning stages of couteracting “you attract what you are”.
    • If they are someone who doesn’t support your vision of your relationships, behaves badly towards you, doesn’t keep their word and has negative energy – guess what?  Send them back where they came from.
    • As I mentioned in the video, this doesn’t need to be a dramatic break up.  As you change, they will notice and most likely will self-select out of your life.  Your phone will ring less.  They’ll stop sending you messages all the time.  It will naturally happen.
    • You can also gradually disengage from your end as well.
    • As Iyanla says in her book, In the Meantime, “It’s time to clean house!
  • Step 4: Make a list of what you do want and write it down!
    • This is where the rubber hits the road!  Your house is cleaned.  Let’s fill it with what you do want!
    • I highly suggest that you write down (yes, with an actual pen and paper) what you do want.  Whatever area you cleaned house (health, finances, relationships), write down what the ideal looks like.  Don’t worry about being realistic.  Dream big and dream BIGGER.  I give you permission.
    • One thing I do in addition to writing what I really want down is creating a vision board.  And I happen to know a fantastic workshop that you can attend that’s coming soon with my friend Nefateria!  Click here for more info.
  • Step 5: Keep your eyes peeled for it (me thinks this one is self-explanatory)

“You attract what you are” isn’t a bad thing.  You can turn things around at anytime by following these simple steps and being consistent and gentle with yourself.

Now over to you: Have you been successful in attracting what you want in your life?  What did you do to attract it?  Leave me a comment below!

Stay well and be safe.

Til de next lime,












About Esha:  As an event planner and travel curator with over 20 years of experience (whose been to 5 out of the 7 continents), Esha’s helped professional women who don’t have the time, energy, or resources to plan their own vacations so they can travel and enjoy unique, life-changing Caribbean experiences. Click the links below to learn more!


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